17- Practical Strategies For Navigating the Holidays in a Neurodivergent Studio

The holidays can be magical—and completely overwhelming. Between school concerts, studio plans, nonstop decorations, and family expectations, our students’ senses get flooded and their routines get disrupted. We talk frankly about what actually helps neurodivergent learners during this season and how we, as teachers, can be the steady, calm center when everything else speeds up.

If you’re craving a simple, humane approach to the holidays, this conversation gives you the scripts, structures, and small tips that make a big difference. Subscribe, share with a teacher friend who needs a calmer December, and leave a review to tell us which strategy you’ll try first!

Subscribe to the new blog!

Looking for some new holiday fidgets, no-prep activities or Elizabeth's students' favorite Scratch Ornaments? Check them out here!

Check out our favorite Christmas/holiday repertoire (including the music mentioned in today's episode)

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Global Listener Shoutouts
• 5:07 Framing The Holiday Challenge
• 7:20 Sensory Overload At Home And School
• 10:13 Rethinking Holiday-Centric Teaching
• 12:36 Cozy Routines And Calming Starters
• 16:54 Ear Games And Flexible Choice
• 20:35 Preparing Students Without Surprises
• 23:25 Fidgets, Visual Schedules, And Signals
• 27:20 Respecting Beliefs And Levels
• 31:23 Rote, Graphic Notation, And Chords
• 35:21 Keep Communication Clear And Energy Calm

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 1:17

Welcome back to episode 16 of the Creative Piano Pedagogy Podcast. We are your hosts today. I am Elizabeth Davis Everhart. I am Tara Mock. And we are so delighted to be here again with you. It's been a good week. It's been cold and I have loved it. Tara, how has your week been?

SPEAKER_01: 1:42

I have really enjoyed the cold weather. Being the age that I am, I get a little hot sometimes. My poor husband freezes in the house, but I love it because I can put on a sweater, a sweatshirt, I can hold some hot chocolate in my hand. So nice. And I get my house, I feel like it's cozier. I'm not trying to keep the heat out. This time we're trying to keep the heat in. And I don't know.

SPEAKER_00: 2:15

You can embrace the cozy.

SPEAKER_01: 2:17

I can embrace the cozy. I really love it. That's wonderful.

SPEAKER_00: 2:20

I want to say a first, a quick note of thank you to everyone who has celebrated our good news together of our partnership here at Creative Piano Pedagogy. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, that just means you need to go back and listen to last week's episode where we shared our exciting news together. And so many of you have sent kind messages and emails and Instagram messages just saying this is so exciting. And we just appreciate you celebrating with us.

SPEAKER_01: 2:50

Oh, I love it. It's been so fun to get on Instagram and see the comments from, you know, especially colleagues who we know and love and who are so supportive. And that's just um very reaffirming about the path that we're on.

SPEAKER_00: 3:04

If you're confused about what we're talking about, just go back and listen to last week. It was a really fun conversation, and we had a lot of fun. We we did, we always have a lot of fun. So we think you'll enjoy listening to it. And we hope you enjoyed today as well. I also want to say a note of welcome to new listeners who may be tuning in. We have new listeners from uh Lithuania and Malaysia, Vietnam, Taiwan, and cities all around the US. We keep having more and more each week, and we are so glad you have found this little corner of the podcast world. So thank you for listening.

SPEAKER_01: 3:43

Yes, thank you, absolutely. And you know, we should make a travel list and go visit some of these places and meet these listeners. That's right.

SPEAKER_00: 3:52

Teacher retreats. Oh, that's a great thing. We are gonna do a really fun theme for today's podcast because, especially here in the United States, we are ramping up for a very busy holiday season. We've just come out of Halloween at the end of October. And here in the US, as soon as Halloween hits, then we have a few weeks until Thanksgiving, and then Christmas and New Year's, and I'm sure in other places as well. It is just very, very busy. And all of that busyness not only impacts us as studio owners and piano teachers, but it also impacts our students. Um, it really impacts what we teach in lessons sometimes. We may be preparing for events. So we thought we would discuss and share with you some tips for navigating the holidays in a studio that has neurodivergent learners. So I don't know about you, Tara. I love this holiday season, but there have definitely been years when I can tell that my students are feeling the busyness and they're feeling a bit stressed, even though it's supposed to be such a joyful time.

SPEAKER_01: 5:10

Yeah, I think there's a, you know, and just that that phrase, it's supposed to be a joyful time. I think that puts a little extra pressure on everybody. Well, I'm supposed to be happy, but I don't feel happy. Or, you know, other uh definitions of joy. Um, and it it gets overwhelming. I think when October hits, it like, you know, how you get to the top of a roller coaster, not that I can ride one anymore, but and you get right over the top. I feel like October first hits, and we're just like we're starting to go over that peak and race down the hill at super fast speeds, and then you take off and suddenly January hits, and bam, you got back to the beginning. And that's what it feels like to me. So October hits, and I don't know about um outside the United States. I would love to hear what our listeners have, what what it's like where they are. But my neighborhood goes all in for Halloween. So then you get these really terrifying displays. Um some very cute displays, but some really scary. That's all of October. As soon as Halloween is done, then you have all the Christmas stuff goes up. And so it feels like from October 1st, it's a constant sensory input, even just stepping outside or going into stores.

SPEAKER_00: 6:23

Great perspective. And you know, a lot of our students, because here on the podcast, we mainly talk about students who learn differently with disabilities or neurodivergence, and even schools will be a very high sensory place during this time because there will be decorations, there will be loud music, even though a lot of these activities are 100% fun-based, or that's the goal, like band concerts and plays. It's just a lot, it's a lot, and I think um, and Tara, maybe you can shed some light on this as a parent, but I have definitely felt that sense of stress from my students and their parents during this time of year because parents are under a lot of strain as well to take kids from activity to activity to play to practice. What do you think?

SPEAKER_01: 7:18

Oh, absolutely. And and you layer on top of that um the parent stress from maybe navigating um difficult situations that make holidays very hard for them. So there's an extra layer of anxiety, angst, grief, depression, I'm not really sure, it could be anything. Um, and then extra pressure. We have all the holiday parties and the gifts and the white elephants, and and it starts to feel very frantic rather than peaceful. And when you live in a household with um, even if I'm trying not to express my angst to my kids, when you live together, you just kind of know and you can feel it. Um, and so that might unintentionally be communicated to the students. Um, and then so then they come to the piano studio and the students are feeling this from school, maybe home, you know, and it it they're overwhelmed and they may not even know why.

SPEAKER_00: 8:17

Right. And it's coming at them from all angles, you know. If it's coming at them from home and school, that's most of their life, you know. But we're supposed to be joyful. It's supposed to be joyful. And so what we're hoping to share with you today is just some perspectives and tips on navigating the holidays in a non-frantic way, giving you permission to observe those holidays or not in a way that works for your students, and some things that we do in our own studios to try to make it go smoothly, not only for our students, but also for us, because we do have very busy lives as musicians during this time of the year, and we also need to consider our own sanity as we navigate all of this as well.

SPEAKER_01: 9:07

Yeah, we we needed another episode on some self-care for piano teachers, definitely, or even just being a musician this time of year. It's yes, it's it's pretty intense with rehearsals and gigs and you know, things like that.

SPEAKER_00: 9:21

It's it is, and I think this takes me to one of the first points that we had kind of talked about around this topic, is since everything is so uh holiday themed, uh it doesn't mean that piano lessons also have to be completely centered. You don't have to do all new music or all new activities or have your studio decorated or have Christmas challenges or have everything holiday. Maybe, especially if you're teaching students who learn differently, maybe you are that sameness for them. And it's okay that you don't overhaul your entire teaching during that time.

SPEAKER_01: 10:07

Oh yes, absolutely. Just and you might have families who just don't celebrate um the holidays, holidays that um cult commercially and culturally that the United States celebrates. And so I try to be respectful of all of those. Um, while I have my uh belief system as a Christian, I also know I have students in my studio who aren't believing the same way that I do, but I'm absolutely going to respect that. Right.

SPEAKER_00: 10:42

Or students may be Jewish and celebrate Hanukkah or you know, from Indian descent and celebrate Diwali. So not these are just some of the considerations you could take into mind, but also just the amount of busy and clutter that can come. And maybe doing that in your studio just might add to the clutter and the noise, but not add to the joy. So I think that's something very important to keep in mind. Is it truly doing something that you love? You're you're doing an activity that you do every year that your students look forward to, or are you doing it because you feel you have to because it's the season?

SPEAKER_01: 11:19

Right, right. So, what do you do, Elizabeth, when it gets to the holiday season? How do you keep things um consistent and calm and regular while also maybe introducing some uh holiday or winter music? What do you do?

SPEAKER_00: 11:37

Oh, it's actually one of my favorite times of year because I love the coziness. So I tend to try to bring in that sense of cozy for my students in some really kind of fun ways. Um, there are a lot of things that I keep the same in my lessons during these holidays. And this goes for other holidays as well, like St. Patrick's Day or Valentine's Day, when in the US we might go all out. I kind of keep the same sort of routine, but I will throw in um, you know, I always have calming activities at the beginning of my lessons as an option if students want. And so I'll have um Christmas activities, like I'll I'll get some from a craft store. And our favorite that we do are these scratch ornaments, where it's like an ornament um that's made of really heavy-duty cardstock, and it looks like it's black, but it comes with a wooden pencil, and students kind of scratch or draw a design, and colors come through as the black paint is peeled off. So we'll do that while we're as an intro activity to our lesson, or as our calming activity, centering activity, whatever you want to call it, while we listen to um a cool holiday piece, or just as we listen to nothing, we just have silence and we decorate our ornaments and then we hang them in the studio or they get to take them home. It's really fun.

SPEAKER_01: 13:00

Oh, I love that. That's such a great idea.

SPEAKER_00: 13:02

And kids of all ages love them. You know, I've had a lot of really young students, age three, they can do that. And my teenage students absolutely love it because it's just delightfully fun. So each week during the Christmas season, I will have something like that for my students to do. And it's not a waste of time, it's truly just like a little coloring page that's musical or decorating an ornament with music notes, or and they're all very inexpensive kind of no prep things. And it's not like I have to have glue and glitter. No, I have a no glue, no glitter policy in my house. Wise. That's wise. Nothing like that. But that's one of my favorite things I do. And then, um, you know, for our ear training, we do ear training in almost every lesson. So we'll swap, and instead of doing intervals, I'll play the first three notes to a familiar Christmas song or see how many notes it takes me to play. Like, like, can you guess it in six notes? Like if I play the first six notes of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer or whatever, and they'll see how few notes they can get it, and then they'll hum one for me because they may not be able to play it on the piano like I can, but they can hum it for me, and I'll see how few pitches I can guess, and that is a huge favorite. Um, it's just so goofy and fun, and they think it is terrifically hilarious, and they get kind of competitive with themselves. So I just kind of tend to keep a similar structure to my regular lessons. I still keep the visual schedule, you know. I think you use one terra that has either Velcro or we use a whiteboard and write what we're gonna do that day, and the students get to choose the order. So I'll still do that and then just replace some activities with something holiday themed. And I'll often give the students a choice if they want to do something more traditional or if they want to do something holiday themed. Nine times out of ten, they'll choose holiday. But I have had several students the last few years who have preferred not to do something Christmas, and it's because they said they felt like everywhere was Christmas and they just wanted to come to piano. So that's a good reminder for me to make sure I still have those options.

SPEAKER_01: 15:26

Oh, absolutely. And something I do that helps is we don't we would not want to surprise our students, especially those with um neurodivergent diagnoses. Um, they like to know what to expect. So I will start in October saying, hey, next month in November, I'm going to be, you know, we're going to be talking about Christmas music. We're going to get some Christmas music and start working on it. Um, and some of them will go, but it's so early. It's like, well, because we only have a couple of um lessons in December, and we're going to go play at the assisted living um facility, uh, we just need some time to learn it. And so I just want you to know that that's what we're doing. And so I'll mention it a few times and then in November, okay, let's talk about, you know, some holiday winter or Christmas music and consistently remind them of what we're doing and what my plan is for December. And I'll even say, I've been doing that this week. I've been saying, okay, when we get to December, we're probably going to take a back seat on our regular repertoire and we're just going to have fun with your Christmas music or whatever music they've chosen because they need less intensity on their schedule. And um, because there's a lot of pressure to as soon as December hits, Christmas party, Christmas party, Christmas party, concert, concert, concert. I want to take some of that pressure off.

SPEAKER_00: 16:51

Right. Um, I also love um keeping extra fidges in my studio this time of year because again, we were talking about the stresses that students may feel from their parents from school, from just the copious amounts of activities going on. And I find my students reaching, I notice them reaching for those fidges a lot this time of year. So that's another reason I like to have extra coloring activities, things that are just kind of calming and repetitive. Um, pipe cleaners will make music notes out of pipe cleaners. It's so much fun. And I'll I'll have Christmas colors, you know, but anything that's a little bit sensory, and I always give them the option. I really notice them grabbing that bubble timer or the squishies or the pipe cleaners this time of year.

SPEAKER_01: 17:38

I think the bubble the bubble timer is the most grabbed piece in my studio. I also have um one of my daughter's friends, um, shout out to Shelby, uh, uses her 3D printer and she'll print fidgets. And the most popular one is one of the cubes that like flips over and over the different pieces. I love those. So probably that's the only two fidges I really need.

SPEAKER_00: 18:01

I love it. And I think it's just a you know, your students are great teachers if you observe them. And so that's one of the ways I learn about teaching is just giving my students the option or giving them the opportunity and seeing what they go with. And then that teaches me about that student. So I've learned a lot about my students over the years just by having things available and seeing what they gravitate towards and then taking note. Okay, they may be feeling stress even though they haven't mentioned it, because they keep going for that fidget, or they keep gravitating towards easier music or whatever it might be. So um I think we've dropped a couple helpful things here to always um learn your students in this way and prepare them for what's coming next. So those are a few things I think all teachers would benefit from, not just those with neurodivergent learners.

SPEAKER_01: 18:59

Absolutely. And something um, I know Halloween is already past when we're recording this, but something I always um try to make a note of is those students who are sensitive to scary decorations and themes. And so I'll try to mention if they I have a lot of students who live in my neighborhood, but if they live outside the neighborhood, hey, this neighborhood has some scary decorations sometimes. So just so that you know and are prepared for when that comes, um I have a student or two who even um they just don't like Halloween-themed music. And we'll, you know, even like there's one called the Boogeyman in Piano Town. And I actually have to put sticky notes over the title and the picture because the one student, it was just scary for her. Others are like, and I don't know if other teachers have noticed this. I would love to uh get um, you know, reply to the to the podcast and let us know. I've noticed a sharp increase in interest in playing Halloween music in recent years. They um they really, really want Ghostbusters or something um Halloween themed. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 20:09

That's kind of fun. And something else I do as well, and I I think you probably do this as well, Tara. Um, when I give holiday-themed music, I almost always ensure that it's about a reading level lower than where we're at right now. Because Christmas music is very difficult. The rhythms, it's just it's more challenging than students usually expect. And that can be an added stress as well.

SPEAKER_01: 20:37

Yeah, it's it's such a good opportunity for really good success. Um, so, and I will tell them, I'll say, you know, listen, we're gonna pick out Christmas music that's a level below where you are now. I'm all about that transparency so that they don't inadvertently get their feelings hurt. But we're gonna do this at an easier level so that we can learn a lot of them quickly. Because what happens when family comes over? Oh, hey, can you play some Christmas music for us? And then you're just like a deer in the headlights. And I tell them, I want you to have some music to play for your family. Um, and then what's fun is they can usually sight read it very quickly. So we're really reinforcing good success with sight reading skills. They're using their ear to um uh rotely learn. Did I just make up a word? Rotely. I I love it though. I think it works.

SPEAKER_00: 21:31

I'm using rotely.

SPEAKER_01: 21:34

You can um learn the difficult rhythms and the field just by ear. Like I don't even teach the dotted rhythms, they just play them.

SPEAKER_00: 21:41

And especially if it's a song they've already heard, you know, I I've had students many, many years where um, especially students with multiple disabilities or diagnoses, that I have not given them any written Christmas music or holiday music. We have made their own arrangements of Carol of the Bells, and we have made graphic notation where you know how Carol of the Bells has the do do do do do do do do and then do do do do do do do do. And so I'll have them draw a graphic to represent each of the parts of the song because it's a little tricky to remember the order of everything, right? Um, so we'll do things like that, and that's kind of their one of their projects instead of reading music. So there are a lot of options, and so I think what we're just trying to encourage you is do what works for you. Don't feel pressured to do the big fancy recital if it doesn't work for your students. Don't feel pressured to give everyone four holiday songs or whatever if it doesn't work for your students because your peace of mind matters, and at the end of the day, your students are not gonna remember every song they've ever played, but they're gonna remember fun things that you've done to make them feel comfortable, to make them feel successful and be successful. That's gonna matter more.

SPEAKER_01: 23:06

Oh, absolutely. Another fun thing to do. This is a good opportunity to introduce chords and chord charts. Um, if you have a simple um jingle bells, away in a manger, whatever, the kids, oh, their their eyes light up with so much joy when they play three notes at one time in one hand. Absolutely and they they play a chord and they play along with a melody and they feel, you know, I feel big. They do, they feel big.

SPEAKER_00: 23:33

I love it. That's a wonderful idea. And um, another one of my favorite resources to use just for something different is the Wonder Keys Christmas books because they are not traditional Christmas songs. Like one of them is themed um about a Christmas tree that travels around the world. So it might be excerpts of familiar Christmas songs, but totally different lyrics, hilarious graphics. So, you know, one of them is like the reindeer babysitter to a way in a manger. The kids think it's hysterical because they're not playing away in a manger, they're playing the reindeer babysitter. Um, and so even something like that, because you know, if you are doing a recital, it's easy to choose a lot of the same music. Um, but that's just one little tip. And actually, I think we might link those in the description. So if you just scroll down, um, we'll link those for you. I thought we could leave teachers with a few things that we could just encourage them to keep the same during this busy season, not only to help their students, but to help themselves. Um one of the first ones that came to mind for me was just that good, concise communication. Don't lose that sense of just ease when you talk to your students, when you communicate expectations about when you expect for pieces to be memorized or learned. Stay in good communication mode. Don't let that slip during the holidays and during this busy season. What about you, Tara? Anything to remind our teacher friends who are listening?

SPEAKER_01: 25:08

I think just be mindful of your own frantic and anxious energy. Um it's easy, you know. I feel a lot of pressure to make sure I have all of this music rehearsed. But I purposely take about 15 to 30 minutes before a student walks in, before a teaching block. And um, you know, I'll I'll stop texting, emailing, and I just kind of make sure that I'm calm and relaxed.

SPEAKER_00: 25:37

I like that.

SPEAKER_01: 25:38

Um, so that when they come in, they are calm and relaxed as well. And I think that's um I think that's important to communicate that this is still remains a safe, um, calming atmosphere.

SPEAKER_00: 25:52

Yes. And I don't know if we've ever talked about this on the podcast before or not, but students who are neurodivergent and individuals who are neurodivergent are especially sensitive and observant to the moods and emotions of others. They can pick up on things that are never even verbally verbalized, like never said. Um, they can pick up on tensions between people or emotions very, very easily. So even just not being too excited in your lessons. That sounds so silly to say, but during the holidays, we kind of feel like we have to have our energy up here, like way up high. But it's okay to still be that calm, like safe place. You can still be excited about the holidays or excited with your students and not be so amped up that it makes them feel on edge because some students may not be able to differentiate between amped up excitement and amped up anxiety.

SPEAKER_01: 26:52

Yeah, absolutely. And I think that's probably a little bit of a myth about some neurodivergent students. Um, you know, there's always been talk about um there might be social lack of social awareness or social awkwardness. Um, but what I find um is and uh I think my kids have put it well this way, they are so good at recognizing patterns that they notice a shift in the pattern. And this is how my daughter describes it like mom, this isn't your usual pattern when you respond to a question like this.

SPEAKER_00: 27:30

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_01: 27:31

Um, and they pick up on that detail, and that I think that's how they really become so hyper-aware whether they're able to verbalize it the way that she did or not. There's a change, there's a change in the pattern, and I don't know what's happening here.

SPEAKER_00: 27:47

Absolutely. I've I've had instances where I've had a bad migraine or something like that, and I've never told my student, but I have one student with autism um that just a few weeks ago said, Um, Dr. Elizabeth, you sound like you're trying to be happy today, but I think you don't feel good. He is nine years old.

SPEAKER_01: 28:09

Oh, bless his heart.

SPEAKER_00: 28:10

How sweet is that old? And I did not say a word about how I was feeling, or that I was tired, or that I had a migrant, nothing. And he's just so observant. And we've been working together for about four years, four or five years. So he knows me by now. Even and did I mention this lesson is over Zoom? Oh wow, so that's very perceptive, very highly perceptive. So this is not a reminder to hide anything from your students, but just be mindful that you have some very observant little people watching you and picking up on your stress. So it's okay to take a deep breath and relax and just get through the season doing what works for you. Um, last thing I'm gonna ask you, Tara. Is there something that brought you joy this week that you want to share with us?

SPEAKER_01: 29:06

Oh, so much. And I that's such a great question to ask because it helps me to stay ahead of what might not have brought me joy. Um, last weekend I was able to um go to Virginia and see my uh kids at their university, and we caught um Savannah and I caught the tail end of leaf peeping season, and we were able to drive out on Blue Ridge Parkway. It wasn't crowded at all. There was hardly any traffic, and it was a beautiful fall day.

SPEAKER_00: 29:39

Oh, that sounds wonderful.

SPEAKER_01: 29:40

And we even pulled off and found a um like an old lumber railroad. This was up in Virginia, maybe north the northern part of the Blue Ridge Parkway. And um, they had kind of turned it into a walkway and a bridge, and so you could walk along it and and it followed this cascading waterfall coming from the top of the hill.

SPEAKER_00: 30:03

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01: 30:05

It was just, it was so fantastic. You know, we got we went to a bookstore, and this was like a perfect day. It's very, I don't know, felt very Gilmore girls. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00: 30:16

Very Gilmore girl day. Oh, I love it. What about you? What brought you joy? Oh, mine is very different, Tara. As you know, we've been in the process of moving. We finally moved a couple weeks ago. But if you've ever moved, you know that the oh the climb out of the pile of boxes can take a while. My moment of joy was when I finally yesterday got all of my cooking and baking spices organized and out of boxes. Um, I love to cook and bake, and I have a rack that goes in the back of the pantry door, and all of them are alphabetized or categorized to finally have all of them there so I can finally make the recipes I've been wanting to make, but I've been missing like half the spices. Uh, it just makes me feel very peaceful finally, and that and trust me, the whole house is not that way yet. Um, there's like random piles everywhere. There are corners where it is decluttered, but just to have that one space done, the process wasn't super fun, but having it finished makes me feel peaceful and joyful. That's a very funny thing to be joyful about, but it's a difference.

SPEAKER_01: 31:35

But I you'll you'll you're gonna laugh. I have all my spices alphabetized in a drawer in all of the same jar. I transfer them to jars so it all looks alike. Not that I cook or bake well. I don't. I'm bad at it. We eat more frozen meals than I'd like to admit lately.

SPEAKER_00: 31:57

Oh, that's so funny that they're alphabetized as well. I'm I'm not in the the same jar thing. I used to do that, but um, I'll have to show you a picture of my spices, Tara. I I have hundreds of jars of spices because oh yeah, one recipe calls for Vendaloo curry, and then another one calls for this kind of curry, and then another one has marjoram, and you use marjoram except for like one recipe, you know. But I have so many jars, and then James likes to smoke on the smoker. So then I have an entire rack of just barbecuing spices, and it just it has gotten admittedly out of hand. Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 32:35

I'm thinking I need to move in next door and eat at your house.

SPEAKER_00: 32:39

You would be most welcome. But I I love that you had a moment of joy seeing your kids, and my moment of joy was having my spices organized. It's the little things, it's the little things, and I hope that um all of our listeners have a good week ahead and uh thank you so much for taking time to listen. We know you have a lot of options of entertainment and education these days, but it means so much to us that you take time to listen. And I also want to invite you to click that first link in the description and check out our brand new website because we have worked intensively on this since about September and it is finally done. There's more to come, but it is there, and we would love for you to just subscribe to the blog. So thank you very much, Tara, for being here with me. It's always wonderful to talk about teaching with you and to laugh together and share. So thank you for being my wonderful co host today on this episode. You're very welcome. And we will look forward to being back with you next week for another episode. Thank you for listening.